My study plan...

In January i started to study. I have been looking for a job more than a year now and no luck, i have been to 2 interviews, a trial...so instead of being home restless...i decided to take some courses.
I have english course every monday, math on tuesday and swedish on thursday.
I am really enjoying it even if sometime have lots of assignments to do. it ´s going quite well though!
The worst thing is to read books...i don´t like reading! but i enjoying writing.
And i think it´s difficult with Math.
Last week assignment for the english course was to write a personal narrative...i got back my assignment yesterday and i got VG plus (well done!) ...i was so happy and proud of myself!
 Here it´s my text :

“Ta Na”

Sometimes things happen for a reason and sometime those things can change your whole life. This is what happened to me. This is my story, it s about some important and sad events and about important people in my life.

   It all began when I was in my mom’s belly. She was depressed and lonely so she jumped from the first floor try to kill both of us but without luck …few months later I was born. It was a Thursday morning there I was, born in my own house.

   My mom got sick after she gave birth to me and my dad was almost never home so my grandparents raised me until I was 8 years old. Mostly it was grandfather that took care of me.

I considered him like my father. He was an important person in my life and I will never forget him.

I called him Ta Na. It’s his nickname that means grandpa Na. Mine is Jip.

Ta Na was born in 1924 in a little town situated in North Thailand.

He was a good student. He studied to become policeman. He worked as a policeman for a few years then he had to leave his job because he had a car accident that caused him some hearing problem. Then he worked in a tobacco factory for many many years. He worked hard so he could support his family. He got married with my grandmother and had 7 kids. My mom was their fourth.

   Ta Na was a very religious buddhist, wise, honest and generous. He spent a lot of time in the temple close to our place helping the monks with different ceremonies. Sometime I could follow him and the monks around Thailand to see what they were doing. I was about 5 years old but I remember it. It was interesting!

   He was respected and everyone considered him like a role model. He was strict and wanted to teach me to be kind, generous and tuff.

Kindness, honesty, generosity are the basic foundations to be a perfect Buddhist.

My mom died in 1992. She was young. It wasn’t a shock for my family because everybody knew that she was going to die but it was hard for everyone, especially for my dad and my sister. She was kind and much loved! I was sad but I wasn’t thinking about it much…I was just 7 years old. Then all the sadness and emotions came rushing out the last 10 minutes of the ceremony. They opened the coffin so people could say farewell. My dad was crying and he didn’t t want me to see the body. But already then I was stubborn so I made my way to the coffin and look in it…tears started to fall down like rain and my heart was beating really fast… Is that my mother?! It can’t be. I got scared…her face was unrecognisable. They closed the coffin and put it in the crematory …Nooo, Mom don’t leave me. Don’t take her away!! I screamed!  My dad and my sister pulled me away from the coffin and explained what was going on. I was still mad and fighting back so my grandpa took me in his arms and whispered something in my ear. Then I understood that it was over. No point fighting back.

I don’t have many memories of my mom but I know that those few I have are good memories and I keep them close to my heart.

   Many people came to the funeral. My grandpa helped with the ceremony. My aunt Mon (oldest sister) and her Italian husband (Nino) were there too. They got married in 1984 and were living in Milan. However, they were in the hospital before my mom passed away. Before she left this world with her last breath she said: `Please take care of Jip and take her with you so she can have a better future! `

The funeral lasted a week. It’s a long process interesting.

A year later I moved to Italy. Everyone wanted to come to the airport to say goodbye and wish me luck so we rented a big bus for 30 people! It was a fun road trip to the airport I must say!

I couldn’t see my family so often, only a month every second year. Ta Na came to visit me once in Italy. I think I was 10 or 11 years old. It was his first trip abroad. Ta Na liked to be there even if it was another world for him. I think because he didn’t care much about the environment but just for being there with me. He always woke up early…took a walk in the city or went to the garden that was in the end of the street and took care of the animals we had. We did a lot of fun stuff. We took him to see Lake Como, Duomo, grilled and took a bath in the river. It was really nice.

One night, my aunt and I had a fight before dinner. When the fight was over, we had dinner and then Ta Na without saying a word, ate his food and went to his room.

I was concerned so I went to his room and asked: `It’s something wrong grandpa?! `

And then he said: `it s ok Jip…just a bit sad`

Why Ta? I asked.

With a sad face and bright eyes: `I don’t like when Mon and you fight! It’s ok to be angry but I think she was too mean to you! `

Don’t worry Ta Na. I’m fine. I’m happy that you are here. And then we joked around for a while before we went to sleep.

Ta Na stayed in Italy for 3 weeks. I was really sad when he left. Don’t like goodbyes…I don t think anybody does that!

Years passed by…

In January 2004 I decided to go to Dubai to stay with my sister. I wanted to clear my head. I had a bad break up and problems in school .I was working and enjoying life. Then I met my husband. His name is Mikael. He is a really positive and interesting person! We connected almost immediately.

   In august, my sister Jay and I took a trip to Thailand. First we went to Koh Samui with one of her closest friend. We were 3 girls. It s was an adventure for me. It was my first trip with my big sister!  I had a lot of fun.

The last week in Thailand I spent it with my family. Took my favourites cousins to have a nice dinner, helped grandma sell fishes and vegetables, went to see dad playing pool and I was with Ta Na in the temple to chit chat with the monks. Fun stuff.

The last day there, it was a lot of packing and thinking about the departure.

I had to leave early in the morning…so I started to say goodbye to all my family. And as always, it s boring to do that.

Ta Na wasn’t at home…so on the way to the buss station, I passed by the temple. There he was as usual. I hugged him and said: Take care and see you soon! Next time I will bring my boyfriend Micke and maybe you can marry us.

Silence. Then he said: I’d like to marry you but I will not be here then.

What? No way …of course you are going to be here.

Suddenly my heart was beating faster, I felt sadness. It was like both of us knew that we were not going to meet each other again. It was weird. Really strange.

So I cried and couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I went back to Dubai, continued working and thinking positive.

   In the end of October I got a phone call from my aunt Mon. Ta Na was in the hospital, he was really sick. She flew to Thailand the next day and I flew there 2 days after.

Grandpa passed away a day before I landed. It was a shock for me…I was frustrated and really sad! He was right. I wasn’t going to meet him anymore!

The funeral lasted 10 days. Every day was hard. I poured a lot of tears. A lot of thinking! I could not see the positives sides about hisdeath. Yes, he was old and sick but only two months passed by. He looked well. I Could t understand! First my mom and now him. The two people I loved the most.

Many people were at the funeral. He was one of the most respected and loved person in the village.The last day of funeral was the hardest. I cried all day. Everyone was sad.

They opened the coffin; I looked in it and… There he was. My beloved Ta Na was lying there… No more crying. I felt calm and no more sadness. He looked so peaceful with a smile on his face. I immediately forget about my sadness and everything seemed to be ok again. It was like he was telling me that he was fine and i should not worry about anything.

He will always look after me. I miss him a lot but I can feel his presence sometime. I will tell story of him, for my kids and explain how wonderful he was.

Life can be planned…I can decide the school or a job, how many kids I want to have. These things can be predictable or planned. But sometime things happen that you would never think could happen to you. But this is life. Life is unpredictable. Death is unpredictable. The only thing certain is that everybody will die and everybody at least once will lose the one they love. It s a circle of life.

I realized that death is a part of life and sometimes things happens for a reason. 

 Ta Na visiting me in Italy...the picture was taken at Lake Como.

 This is my mom...it´s the only picture with me and her!